Ryan’s Eagle Scout Project–Part V
We woke early and were back at the Auchan parking lot at 8:30. We decided to grab some breakfast from the bakery section and COULD NOT believe how many people were in the grocery store. At 8:30 on a Saturday morning!! It looked like the day before Thanksgiving in there – but I guess it’s the Hungarian norm… everyone getting their daily bread fresh from the oven. We grabbed some goodies, paid with thousands of HUF and were on our way.
We loved these pull carts…
Patricia had decided that a couple of group homes outside of the city could use our project and activities the most. Because of our size, our friends who came with us to Budapest wouldn’t be able to attend and I can see that it worked out better that way. The group homes were small and with Patricia and her husband and our five it was already a full house. First of all, Patricia is the contact that Ryan and Chris found online while searching for Hungarian organizations. She is an American who came to Hungary feeling like she had a purpose to serve the Hungarian children. She taught herself Hungarian and has been working with orphanages and group homes all over the city for 20 years now. It was truly an honor to meet her. The service she gives to those orphans and caretakers is really remarkable. It is because of her, that we were welcomed into these homes with such warmth.
We pulled up to the first group home and one of the caregivers and the three oldest boys met us outside. They greeted Patricia and then she introduced them. The boys were 18, 18 and 16 are were dressed in their best clothes, two with ties. We learned their names, told them ours and brought them over to the truck. Patricia’s husband opened the trailer and the older boys started to carry boxes and bags into the house with Ryan. The sweet older caregiver, watched as the trailer opened, grabbed my arm, audibly gasped and then held her hands to her face, moving her head slightly back and forth. It was the first time of many that day that I would get emotional. ‘Keep it together’ I thought. ‘We have a full day ahead of us.’ The joy of the moment made the whole project worth it and we had hardly started. She took me inside, worried that I would get too cold, if I stayed out any longer. It’s remarkable how much you can communicate through action.
Patricia had told me that some caregivers did their job, and others acted like a mother. She said that this sweet lady was the latter and I could just see it in her wrinkly face. In the humble living room was a tray full of cookies and drinks for us. Patricia told us that it was a Hungarian tradition to serve your guests something to eat and that each time she came she always felt bad that they had to feed her– when they had so little.
In this group home there were two caregivers and usually 12 children but right now only 8. Six of them were siblings and we thought it was interesting that it was an oldest boy, then three girls and then two little boys just like our family. I think because of that, we made a connection of how similar we were but how blessed our children were to have their parents.
Before we could even grab a cookie to eat, the sweet caregiver was bringing the kids in, each holding crafts and gifts that they had made for us. They handed us intricately decorated clay eggs, (one for each of us), Easter cards, a full basket full of chocolates, crafts, wooden eggs, slices of wood decoupaged with flowers, a hand stitched pin cushion and postcards from their area. Also they were excited to show us the pictures of the huge snow storm that they had had the previous week which Patricia told us was the biggest snow storm Hungary has had for 50 years. Luckily we missed it by a week. Later they presented Chris with a big framed photograph of a nearby lake. We were quite surprised to be receiving so many things.
The Hungarian kids were anxious to show us their rooms. The three girls shared a room and took Katie and Emily to take a look. We picked up their stuffed animals and gave them a thumbs up and pointed and smiled at their art work on the wall. Ryan went upstairs with one of the older boys. They had gotten on a computer and were using google translate to have a conversation with each other. “Are you in high school?” “Do you have a girlfriend?” “Do you play soccer?” Ryan said it was so cool.
When I came down the stairs, the caregiver asked Patricia to ask if I liked the house. I said that I loved seeing it and that I especially liked that the walls were covered in the kids artwork. She smiled and then took me to a cupboard and pulled out lots of the projects they had done in the past. Then she handed me a decoupaged plaque and told me that she wanted me to have it and to remember the kids. I was very touched.
Just then the other caregiver came into the room and said to Patricia to me… “You’ve got to come here and take a picture of this. The little boy never bonds with anyone and he is laughing.” I followed her into the room and found Chris on the floor with cute little 4 and 5 year old boys and a darling 6 year old girl. The kids were putting a shoe box on top of Chris’ head and when he wiggled to have it fall off, the kids burst into laughter. Chris said they’d been doing it over and over for 15 minutes. It was so cute. One of those little guys held onto Chris all day. It was emotional for him that these kids didn’t have a father figure in their lives. At the end of the day I said to Chris that I was surprised of the feelings I had for these little kids. It would be easy for me to take them home and love them. He said he had thought the same thing.
This boy though Chris ‘white hair patch’ was pretty interesting…
We stayed to play for a minute and then the caregivers started to bundle all the kids up in their boots and coats. They were to take a train over to the other group home so that we could do games and crafts all together. We followed them outside and followed Patricia’s van to the second group home.
Here there were 12 kids and 5 caregivers and they had put on a big meal for us. Patricia had ‘warned’ us that they would do this and to ‘please be prepared and try to eat something so as not to offend them’. She also ‘warned’ the ladies that our tastes were different and that we might not love the same tastes. Example: peanut butter, which they had tried and couldn’t think why anyone would like it. Well, the dinner (lunch but their biggest meal of the day) was delicious! First course is often soup. We had a chicken broth. Cut up cooked celery root and carrots were on the table which you could add to your soup. The second course was a chicken, layered with cauliflower and a cheese sauce served with baked rice, which was so good. Lastly, all kinds of sweet squares for desserts. Once we had finished then all the kids were able to come into the kitchen and eat the rest of the desserts. They had been waiting anxiously in the other room until we finished.
We went straight outside and Ryan and Patricia started the games. She had brought some gunny sacs and plastic spoons with eggs for races and the kids loved it. When we sorted the toys, Patricia asked that all the little toys be placed into a separate box for game prizes. After each race the winner would run over and pick something from the box… a toy car, a train, a small stuffed animal, a notebook… Some of the little boys grabbed their first thing and held on to it the whole morning. When all the toys were covering our family room floor at home, we had some good talks with our own kids about where these toys would be going and encouraged them to find things in their own room that they might want to let another child have. Megan donated almost all of her barbies. Luke and Matt each gave some things away as well… one of which was a Go Diego Go Camera. I noticed that one of the little guys pulled out that little camera for his prize and didn’t put it down for the rest of the afternoon. It made me happy and I made a note to tell the boys about it.
It was really fun to see the kids interacting throughout all the games. Ryan raced against the other big boys and they congratulated whoever won by smiling and sometimes even a hand shake.
We played 4 corners for awhile with Chris in the middle, and the kids loved it. Then Ryan, Katie and Emily taught them how to play a ninja game, a clapping game and then they all played tag.
Emily and a cute 10 year old named Jessica were soon inseparable. They linked arms for most of the games, laughed a lot and communicated through their actions and smiles. A few of the Hungarian girls told Katie that one of the guys had a crush on her by pointing to the boy, making a heart with their fingers and pointing to Katie. Some things are universal.
After an hour and a half outside we moved inside to work on the Easter crafts. Katie worked on this area for one of her GOOD WORKS goals in Young Womens. She helped me find the idea and then went with me to pick up some of the supplies. She also helped pick out all of the art supplies which we purchased from Ryan’s Fundraiser Dinner earned money to give each group home their own ‘art supply box’. It was fun to put those together and give them to the caregivers. We had all the pieces of the craft cut out and ready, so the assembly didn’t need any explanation at all. Just an example. I thought the little kids would enjoy it but I had no idea that the 18 and 16 year old kids would be so actively engaged as well. Patricia said that they really look forward to any time she can come and do activities with them – even the older ones. There’s just not enough for them to do around the area and they get bored. Ryan, Katie and Emily sat among them and did the art project too.
We put them up on our FHE wall when we got home. That’s Ryan’s chick who is ‘winking’.
After the art projects Chris and Ryan played with the little boys who were climbing all over them begging for attention. They bounced them and pretended to drop them and got a lot of giggles.
When we left 5 hours later, the caregivers kissed us on both cheeks and all the kids headed to the front yard to say goodbye and waved as we drove away. I started to get emotional as we all rehearsed some of the special moments of the day.
Our last stop was to a woman who Patricia has known for twenty years. She met her when she was 9 and living in one of the orphanages and has kept in constant contact with her as she grew up, got married and had each of her two kids. They live in a small house with a kitchen, and two small bedrooms. We had packed toys and clothes for her two kids as well, and Ryan and Chris carried them into the house and then we sat around their bed to visit for a minute. Patricia translated the conversation back and forth and while she did we noticed that the little 4 year old boy started to dig through the bag of little boy clothes and excitedly tried things on. Sports pajamas and shorts that were too big. It was another sweet moment. At the group homes they didn’t open the toy or clothes boxes while we were there but we could imagine that a similar scene would be happening there in the next day or so and it was a wonderful feeling.
The last memory I wanted to jot down is of the father. In the clothing donations there were a few items of clothing that were brand new. Among them were two pair of men’s tall and thin jeans. On the Thursday night we had given Patricia all of the new clothes and when she saw these she knew they would be perfect for this man. We saw him hold them up to him for what looked like a perfect fit. Patricia told us later that the jeans he had on, worn and covered with paint, were his only pair. It was neat to be witness to the father and son, so appreciative of the clothes we had brought for them. It was truly humbling.
We said our goodbye’s to Patricia outside and she told Ryan once again that this was the most organized project and day that she had ever been a part of. She also told him that usually when she receives requests for people to come to the orphanages she says NO. It has been her experience that it’s not organized well and done in the right spirit and ends up being quite stressful for her and the orphanages. She said that for some reason she felt like she should say YES to having Ryan come and she was so glad she did. She also told us that if any of our friends wanted to do a similar project she would say yes if they said that they knew us. It was very touching.
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On the Monday night after we got home we all took the opportunity to write in our journals about this trip and the what the experience meant to us. It was a very memorable day and one that I am so glad to have shared with my three oldest children. I am so proud of the way Ryan worked on this project. It was a gigantic undertaking, and because of that it really was a family effort, but he knew it was his responsibility, and if he saw the girls and I helping with anything he always showed his gratitude. He really didn’t have much free time the last couple of months. He was constantly working hard and was always really positive about the work. Good job, Ryan. We are so proud of you.